Quotes by Douglas Adams

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?

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In order to fly, all one must do is simply miss the ground.

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Arthur hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realised there was a contradiction there and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

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Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

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Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

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For a moment, nothing happened.Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.

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He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.

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If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.

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I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.

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He inched his way up the corridor as if he would rather be yarding his way down it.

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He shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on each.

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There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

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He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.

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A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

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In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

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Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

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I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.

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He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

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I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.

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Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?

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His study was a total mess, like the results of an explosion in a public library.

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It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

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If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.

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It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

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Life is wasted on the living.

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That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.

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I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it.

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Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

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Many men of course became extremely rich, but this was perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of because no one was really poor, at least no one worth speaking of.

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The moment at which two people, approaching from opposite ends of a long passageway, recognize each other and immediately pretend they haven t. This is to avoid the ghastly embarrassment of having to continue recognizing each other the whole length of the corridor.

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Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.

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I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

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The difficulty with this conversation is that it's very different from most of the ones I've had of late. Which, as I explained, have mostly been with trees.

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The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.

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The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.

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The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

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The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.

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The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.

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Watch?? I'm gonna pray, Man! Know any good religions?

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The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

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There is a theory which states that if ever for any reason anyone discovers what exactly the Universe is for and why it is here it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another that states that this has already happened.

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This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

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Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

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To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.

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We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

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We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.

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It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.

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You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

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